Let’s talk woman to woman. What’s is up with the number on a scale making us feel a certain way about ourselves?
Let me share a short anecdote: this morning, I was in my kitchen with my sister, who is in town visiting before her wedding this weekend (woo hoo – so proud!). We were discussing her recent interest in running and the resultant weight loss. (She looks amazing!) We touched upon her dissatisfaction with her pre-running figure, and she loudly proclaimed, “Meg, I was up to XXX; I was disgusting!” (The number doesn’t matter – that’s my point!) I mean, how sad is that? It was the number that defined ‘disgusting’ to her and truly bothered her.
What really smarts about this conversation though? Her ‘disgusting’ number is lower than my current number. And don’t you think I didn’t know that and feel it in my gut as I heard the words come out of her mouth. I silently winced to myself, so embarrassed that if she knew my number, she might think I was disgusting, too. In a sisterhood with no secrets, weight is off limits for me. It’s a personal thing I keep only for myself, because I struggle with it constantly and I’m so ashamed of my number – no matter what it might be, if I’m being honest. My number is never good enough for me. And hearing “well, you just had a baby” – meant kindly, I’m sure – just isn’t a comfort.
And then I wonder why. Why am I hurt by this conversation? I know that everyone wears their weight differently. And we know that the number on scale shouldn’t matter; it should only matter how you feel about yourself. Shouldn’t I be proud to have recovered nearly to pre pregnancy weight already? I’d love to be proud, but I’m not. I’m quick to qualify that statement with: “Not that I was happy with my number before pregnancy, either!” When I hit the mom blogs for some comfort of new moms in similar situations, it seems like I’m the only one still struggling; so many seem just all to happy to report that they were at pre pregnancy weight just 2 months after baby, or less! And I look at the rich and famous in our favorite glossies, posing in bikinis mere weeks post-baby and think, wow, I’m really a slacker. Where are our realistic – and honest – role models in weight loss and in particular, post partum weight loss? I truly don’t know. But that’s a subject for another day; I’m sure we could talk for days about that subject.
So, why does that number rule our lives so much? Why does that little number become a daily black mark on my day and my weight weigh on my mind all day?
Is it just me or are you haunted by the number on the scale, too?
From the moment we are born we are weighed in. We talk about the baby’s birth weight, their checkup weights, how much they weigh to dose them how much tylenol, their food intake…are they smaller/bigger than others in their elementary classes, what size new school clothes to buy…it never stops!!
I HATE my weight and I hate when my doctor sees my weight. I hate hearing people talk about weight because I am ashamed by it. It makes me feel disgusting and I am afraid people are disgusted with me. This is a great post. I wish that we didn’t care so much about THAT number. I hope that you will see the outside and the inside beauty that you possess.
I love this comment. Thank you. And PS – I dread the doctor’s office bc the scale is mandatory. And weighing in during prenatal appointments? Don’t even get me started! Luckily my doctor is wonderful and understanding – she does not put pressure on me or make me feel badly.
My husband watches me step on the scale every morning and says, “well what’s your self-esteem going to be like today?”. The words of your blog are the same exact words that I have thought in my head. I wish the scale didn’t determine how I feel about myself. I hope someday that it won’t.
This is SO my morning convo with hubby in the master bath. I’ve stopped letting him in the room with me when I weigh myself…but he can tell by how many times I re-weigh, and my face when I come out of the bathroom.
Somehow my number doesn’t bother me, it’s really more the way clothes fit–or rather, never fit right–that’s the problem. When I try on clothes, I can be anywhere from a S-M-L depending on the brand and store. It’s ridiculous! I’d rather just be toned and feel better in my own skin than care about the scale.
I do watch the scale pretty closely! I’m kind of a nut about the whole exercise and weight thing, though, and more or less stayed the same weight since high school give or take 5 pounds in either direction. I do remember a conversation I had with two petite friends once (I’m almost 5’8) when I told they I needed to drop a few pounds because I had gotten up to 130 and they were both in shock saying “you can’t possibly weight THAT much, that’s a lot.” I didn’t know whether to be insulted or pleased by their comment! Personally, I go more by measurements and how my clothes fit and how I feel about my body. TGIF!
I don’t know why this is so important either.
I’m on a great eating plan – that I made for myself and working out regularly.
Losing slow but steady.
If the scale shows a few pounds more, I get all upset.
Why I sure don’t know.
We all naturally fluctuate with our weight – it does not mean a true weight gain.
So I recently decided to weigh myself once a week.
I totally agree with you that the numbers can be embarrassing , when you hear about actresses and models under 100 lbs. it can be misleading. I am 5′ 11″ and a normal healthy weight for me is 180 lbs. That is my I don’t eat anything bad and am extremely active weight. Right now with 2 kids in the last 3 years I am over 300 lbs. and that is not a number I want to share with others. Not when the petite people are overweight and complaining about 200 lbs.
Oh bless your heart – you feel where I’m coming from! Sometimes you can be active, eat well and -shocking – not be 100 lbs! GASP!
I’m 5’11” with a fairly large bone structure, so I pretty much had to come to terms long ago that my number is going to be pretty different from the average woman. If I get down around 150, people start asking if I’m anorexic and I look pretty sickly, where I know a lot of more petite women would freak out if they weighed that much.
Definitely agree – we are all built differently. Once I gain a little bit, you see it right away in my face. Ugh!
my weight is something that has been very prominent in my life recently. i know that i am obese at over 300 pounds. however, my mentality is that i accept my body the way it is because i’ve made the choices that have put me where i am, but i’m not happy that i weigh that much. i’m not happy that i have and am causing damage to my body. just over a year ago i decided to make a change. but instead of wanting to lose the weight to be more beautiful or get smaller clothes i want to lose the weight in order to be more healthy….the other stuff is just the icing! over this past year i’ve been able to lose 50 pounds and while i’m still a long ways from my ultimate goal i’m on the right path for the right reasons. it’s a matter of perspective and where your focus is. i’m not comparing myself to my skinny-minny friends :) and thinking how huge i am like i used to. i’m doing this to get off medication, to run and not be weary, to walk and not faint…..this is about me. i’m setting goals to participate in 5ks and 4-milers instead of wondering what shows are coming on tv that night. don’t get me wrong, i have my slip up days and that’s going to happen, the goal is to change your perspective so that number doesn’t become as haunting as it could be.
thanks for letting me comment!!!
Shannon, can I just say: how inspiring are you, girlfriend?!?! What a great attitude. Thanks for sharing your experience! -Megan
Oh, I SO get this.
I play this numbers game all of the time … and I don’t have much to lose but it feels like 100lbs in my mind. And it overshadows my life some days, affects what I think I should wear … and sometimes just drives me straight to the chocolate.
Men do not do this – I am almost sure about that – why do we?